I usually can’t go a single day without someone asking me a question. How do you want your eggs and do you have the time and where is the rent money.
If several people ask the same question, I will post the answers here to dispel the fog of doubt and fear.
How do you make your drawings?
I like to make a little sketch in pencil so I know where things are going to be. Then I go over the drawing in black ink. I don’t like to fix too much of the line work in photoshop, so I try to make my lines flow as smoothly as possible. To achieve this effect I use a brush pen and a bottle of scotch. When I wake up the next morning, voila! Art!
I’d like to learn how to draw or make a comic of my own. Do you have any advice?
Yes:
Never draw your girlfriend as a cartoon, EVER, not even if she asks! It is an artform of exageration and you will never be able to do it without getting in trouble! I have made this mistake more than once and I can assure you that all women are the same! You might think you can pull it off, but just trust me, it can’t be done!
How often does this site update?
Ah, now that’s a tricky question. I’m happy if it updates once a week but sometimes that doesn’t happen and sometimes it happens more frequently than that. I’ve found that if I make promises about this sort of thing, I always end up hating drawing, this website and ultimately you, the cherished reader. The official answer that I say into the reporter’s tape recorder is “When it does.”
Can I make you update more than that?
Sure you can. Go to the store and buy a print or whatever else is there. This directly impacts how much time I have to spend at my crumby day job each week, which in turn effects how much spare time I can spend on writing and drawing, which of course determines how many comics I make, which leads directly to more updates of higher quality. Plus I will love you for helping me out. If you’re strapped for cash I totally get that, just trick one of your rich friends into checking out the site and drop a couple of serious hints about what you want for your birthday.
I was personally offended by one of your drawings, statements, or comic strips.
Take it back!
Although this is not a question, it bears answering. I’m sorry if I made a claim or said a swear or drew a picture that is not inkeeping with your religious upbringing or personal taste. But as it is written in the bible:
Lo! The world dost moveth not!
To the beat of one hewn drum,
And what holdeth right for thou
May not make right for some.
It matters not what thou dost have,
A pittance? What of it?
They’ll have theirs, and I my own,
And thou have thine.
And together we’ll be fine.
That’s not in the bible.
No it is not. But it still makes sense.
Why did you make this website?
Kind of so I’d have somewhere to put my comics and drawings and books and stuff, kind of just for something to do.
Mostly it’s because I really and truly believe that even as I write, the aggregate contents of the internet are being continually culled and collected onto a single giant computer that will soon constitute all of human knowledge and experience. When this process is complete, the computer will be mounted into the forehead of a giant robot who will be launched into space to deliver Our story to the cosmos. He will float silently long after we have poisoned ourselves once and for all, cold, sequestered by eternity and impossibly lonely, and I want to be one of his memories.
